Saturday, January 16, 2010

WCCW: INTERNATIONAL STAR WARS 06/17/1983

So I'm trying to get into some WCCW because it seems like a rad place to be in the early 80's. This show, held on June 17, 1983, was called International Star Wars because they brought in some dudes from Mexico and Japan. Sadly, for this ESPN cut, they took out some really rad match-ups. Some of the matches left out were Jumbo Tsuruta vs. Ted Dibiase and Giant Baba vs. King Kong Bundy. With those matches taken out, the show doesn't seem very "International". I didn't know about those matches before I picked it up though. The reason I got it is because of the Main Event, which features Bruiser Brody and Kerry Von Erich vs. The Freebirds. Brody and Kerry sounds like the strangest duo to me, and them wrestling in front of 21,000 Texans at the Reunion Arena sounds like a gay old time.

Let's get it on:

1. SIX MAN TAG-TEAM MATCH
Jose Lothario, "Gentleman" Chris Adams, Chavo Guerrero
vs
Fishman, "Wild" Bill Irwin, The Mongol (Gene Lewis) w/ General Skandor Akbar


Man, Chris Adams had some girls screaming for him during introductions. I gotta say though, I thought it was going to be stupid, but Fishman is awesome. He's got a great physique and bumps around for everyone. He's so badass that after he whips you the ropes, he punches you in the stomach. Dropkicks and back body drops are for sissies - I'm with Fishman's Stomach Punch. Bill Irwin takes a good licking from Lothario. You know, what I miss? I miss a guy balling his fist up when he's got a bad guy all opened up and looking at the crowd for that approval. Jose does that to Irwin, and I don't know what their beef is, but it totally got me excited to see him punch Irwin in the face. The finish got a little mucked up, sadly. Chavo hit a flying cross body off a blind tag to pick up the three count, but before we could see it, Fishman or Bill Irwin must have kicked the camera on their way to break up the pin. Either way, it was a fun little starter. Chavo diving and rolling out of the ring like a Mexican Ninja after he picked up the win, could be the best part. You know, outside of Fishman.


2. FOR THE VACANT TEXAS HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
David Von Erich
vs
"Gorgeous" Jim Garvin w/ Sunshine


I love seeing Von Erich's in Texas. The people go crazy for those guys. And if those girls are storming the ring for David, it'll probably get down right X-Rated when Kerry comes out. There's something kind of gawky about David, but he's no slouch.
Garvin and David work really well together and they manage to do a spot I've never seen before. Garvin locks up David in a hammer lock and rolls him on a back for a pin with the hammer lock still on. Since he's on his shoulders the ref was going to count him down for a pin, but David stays alive by doing some neck bridges. It's really simple, and some one should probably ape it. Seems choice for a William Regal/Bryan Danielson match.

It felt like everything kind of died down towards the end, but Garvin won suddenly off a pin while Sunshine held David's leg's from the outside. The crowd was not happy. Back from commercial break and an announcer says that since everyone saw the cheating but the ref, they've all decided to hold the belt up AGAIN. Apparently this is the fourth time this has happened(UNPRECEDENTED), and I wonder how sick the crowd is of that. I'm still intrigued and I definitely want to know how it was finally settled.

3. HAIR-vs-HAIR MATCH
Iceman King Parsons
vs
Buddy Roberts (of The Fabulous Freebirds)


Apparently Buddy Roberts has a secret cream that will take the hair right off your head. You know, like Nair, but made in some dudes kitchen. I think some one said Michael Hayes' cousin was a chemist, which I'm thinking is only part true, if you know what I'm saying.

The match is pretty much Buddy Roberts getting bumped around while Parsons wags his finger and does that rubber knee dance. Despite Parsons basically running rough-shod all over him, Buddy gets the pin with a roll-up and handful of tights. Parsons tells the ref of the shenanigans and the ref is all "Hey man, did you cheat?" Buddy says no and goes to beat up on Parsons. This fails because Roberts has yet to prove he is any match for da Ice Man. Then Parsons pulls out the hair cream and lathers up Buddy's hair. Strange. I thought the loser would lose his hair. Michael Hayes comes down to save his buddy and takes a few chops for stopping by. Then they cover Buddy's head up with a shirt and run away. SHENANIGANS.

Side note: The more I think about it, the more I want a stipulation match where the heel loses but cuts the face's hair or removes the face's mask anyways. You could do that but once in a decade, but it could actually work in pissin lot of people off.

4. 3-vs-1 HANDICAP ELIMINATION MATCH
Armand Hussein ("African Heavyweight Champion" whatever that means), Mike Bond, Tora Yatsu (Yoshiaki Yatsu/All Japan Pro-Wrestling)
vs
Kamala The Ugandan Giant w/ handler Friday+manager General Skandor Akbar


"Bowling Shoe Ugly" as J.R. would say. The rules are Kamala has to pin all three to win. "The odds are stacked," I say. Yatsu gets pinned in front of the other guys and no one breaks it up. They just let him lose. Some handicap this is turning out to be. And then Armand Hussein just leaves with Yatsu. That's what I'd probably do, too. This leaves Mike Bond to get bulldozed and pinned. Kamala wins, despite only pinning two. Whatever. Things pick up when Brody storms the ring to pick a fight. Crowd goes wild. Hell, I even got excited for it.

It was an ugly match, but I guess it was all just to set up Brody coming out as "the one guy who could maybe stop Kamala."

5. N.W.A. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
{1 fall 60 min. time limit}
"Handsome" Harley Race (CHAMPION)
vs
Kevin Von Erich (CHALLENGER)
SPECIAL STIPULATIONS:
-being thrown over-the-top rope is legal in this bout!
-if Race is disqualified, he will lose his belt!


People are excited for Kevin, but you can kind of feel that it's not as big a deal as it would have been had Ric Flair. The two had been feuding and building this up for a while and then suddenly Harley Race won the belt the week before this show. So instead of bringing in Ric without the belt they bring in the champ. Harley complains that the stipulations were for Flair, not him, but it falls on def ears.

Five minutes in and Kevin, who has already had three close pinfalls, goes for THE CLAW. I love his set-up for it. He just does a snapmare and puts it on the guy after he hits the match. It's kind of basic, but it gave The Claw this cool, "come from anywhere", feel. The match gets a lot cooler when Harley starts working on Kevin's left shoulder. After some punches and knees, you'd think he broke the damn thing. The limb work takes a weird turn, when Kevin comes up with the crazy idea to create a sling for his damaged arm by.... STUFFING HIS HAND DOWN HIS TIGHTS.

I have no idea where the hell he got that idea, but it probably should have stayed behind the curtain. If the commentator hadn't said that's what he was trying to do, I would have had no idea what he was doing, other than cupping his junk. I'm sure people in the audience were just as perplexed as I. Watching Kevin fight back with his hand on his bratwurst has to be seen, for any true wrestling fan.

All that aside, Kevin is tremendous at selling his arm. You'd think he'd been shot. David even comes down to tell him to just give it up. Harley of course sees an opening and kicks David back. This makes David lose his cool and storm the ring to beat up Harley, costing his brother the match. Thanks, bro. Of course, while Kevin is in a corner nursing his wounds, David talks down to a prone Race and says "It's my turn now!" Christ, what a d-bag, David is, and for some reason he doesn't turn heel in all this. Everyone acts like it's totally okay that he just cost his brother a title match and then said, "me next", despite the fact that he can't even officially put away Jimmy Garvin.

There was some cool work, in this match, and until the screwy finish it could have possibly been the best match on the card. Kevin is pretty solid. He sells really well, and his little comebacks looks pretty good as well. He's got a tight as hell dropkick. I really wish that this had a neater finish than David mucking everything up, as it kills the match.

6. THE MAIN EVENT
N.W.A. AMERICAN TAG-TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
THE FABULOUS FREEBIRDS (CHAMPIONS)
(Michael Hayes & Terry Gordy)
vs
(CHALLENGERS)
Bruiser Brody and "The Modern-Day Warrior" Kerry Von Erich


Michael Hayes drops an amazing pre-taped promo on everyone before the match. It's intense as hell and just plain badass. It's got that weird 70's druggy paranoia thing going for it. I wonder if it's on YouTube?

Kerry Von Erich and Bruiser Brody enter the ring to the Star Wars Theme. Oddly enough, for that duo, it fits. Before the match starts, Hayes cuts another promo on Parsons and challenges him to a Lights Out Match, and if he loses, Ice Man can cut his hair. It kind of undercuts the EPIC match we're about to watch, and I can't really understand why it needed to be said right then.

Of course the match itself is nothing near epic. It's five minutes. Pretty weak stuff. And the finish was botched up because I'm sure Kerry forgot what the finish was. It essentially goes like this, Hayes whips Kerry to the ropes and drops down. Kerry doesn't rebound he just walks over and picks up Hayes and says, "Hey brother what the hell do I do after you drop down?" So Hayes tells him and whips him to the ropes again. Hayes drops down and Kerry steps over him and leaps into the arms of Brody. Brody then tosses him onto a now standing Hayes and Kerry picks up the three. New champs. Lame match.

OVERALL:
The main event was the one I really wanted to see because it was the bizarre team of Bruiser Brody and Kerry Von Erich. That sucked. The rest of it was okay wrestling. I can't think of any match that really struck me as a solid "go find this now" match. Nearly every finsih was kind of messed up, even simple handicap matches like Kamala's. It all seemed like they were building to the next show but everything that was happening tonight didn't matter. Like when Hayes challenged Parsons right before the bell rings to starts his tag title match. Some of it kind of worked, like the Garvin and David angle. But then that gets undercut by David challenging Harley for the title later. I would like to see how some of this shook out, though. But despite that, this show does not get a recommendation from me. I would like to see some of the matches they took out though.
___________________________________________
On Deck:
Next week I'm going to Dragon Gate USA, so expect a report on that. This time I'm taking my wife with me, which should be really fun. I've also finally got my hands on this year's Tokyo Dome show, and a copy of a 3XW show that has Al Snow in the main event. So I got stuff to talk about.

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