RAW kicks off with a quick promo from both Beefcake and DiBiase. DiBiase's ends with Jimmy Hart acting nervous as hell and Ted telling him to relax. This show was taped in front of the same audience that poopoo'd Beefcake's promo last week so it'll be interesting to see how this plays out.
THE STEINERS vs.GLEN RUTH & BOBBY WHO
Glen Ruth(the future Thrasher), who worked well with Marty Jannetty a while back, starts it off and within a minute eats a DRAGON SUPLEX, and that's about it for him. The rest of the match is poor Bobby Who getting dominated Steiner style. Fun squash.
During the match, Macho's mic is broken, so Rob Bartlett talks even more than usual. And with Bobby Who we get plenty of Abbot and Costello references. Bad ones. What's odd is that since this was pre-recorded they went in and added sound bites of Macho Man complaining about not having a mic. It's kind of scratchy but you can hear him just fine, so you wonder what the problem is.
YOKOZUNA vs. ROSS GREENBERG
|4 "fans" in the front row shriveled up as Yoko spoils the Slugorian invasion.|
Macho Man steals Bartlett's mic so it's just Savage and Vince. YAY
After the match we get a replay of the Knockdown Challenge where Yoko kills Jim Duggan.
16 MAN BATTLE ROYAL
Bob Backlund, Damian Demento, Berzerker, Tito Santana, Terry Taylor, Shawn Michaels, Koko B. Ware, Owen Hart, Kim Chee, Kamala, Tatanka, Typhoon, Razor Ramon, Iron Mike Sharpe, and Skinner.
SPOILER ALERT. They call it a 16 Man Battle Royal but there's only 15 guys in the rumble. The reason they call it 16 is because of the surprise ending. And Gonzalez isn't even technically in the battle royal so it doesn't make any sense.
This is kind of a let down early on. Shawn, Razor and Owen all seem to have a lot of fun though. Ramon in particular makes a point to go from guy to guy and do something fun with everyone. Typhoon carrying him around by his neck is really impressive looking.
Things get crazy when Kamala is eliminated. He runs back in and eliminates Kim Chee. The two of them then chase through the crowd and up into the balcony. It's pretty fun to watch, but by this time I'm losing a lot of interest in Kamala's character.
Your Final Four is Tito, Tatanka, Razor Ramon and Shawn Michaels. HBK makes some plans with Razor(of course) and the two split up with Shawn taking on Tatanka. At this point Shawn and Tatanka are starting to build a little feud to carry them into Wrestlemania. Tito and Tatanka double team HBK and eventually eliminate him. They start to beat down Razor when...... THE GIANT GONZALEZ shows up. Razor rolls out while Gonzalez easily eliminates the good guys, making Ramon the winner. I guess.
The best part is when Gonzalez leaves Razor rolls back in and kind of taunts Gonzalez from behind. Yeah, you don't want no part of da Bad Guy, chico.
RANDY SAVAGE LINE OF THE NIGHT: "Put some mustard on it, Kamala!"
TED DIBIASE vs. BRUTUS "THE BARBER" BEEFCAKE
|End it. Just end it all.|
IRS eventually comes out and nails Beefcake from behind with the suitcase in plain sight of the referee. A disqualification ending. After the match the two plan on decking Beefcake in the face with the metal briefcase. Jimmy Hart protests and eventually Irwin gets sick of it and tosses Jimmy out of the ring. Then they drill Beefcake. They want to do more but Jimmy crawls in and covers Brutus up and begs his guys to leave him be. They roll out and we get a stretcher job while Brutus covers his face in agony.
They cut to a shot of what looks like a wine stain on the canvas and Vince says he didn't see a cut on DiBiase or Schyster. Well I can tell you there wasn't one on Brutus either. Hell, he didn't even roll around in that part of the ring.
VINCE MCMAHON LINE OF THE NIGHT: (referring to Schyster hitting Beefcake.) "It seemed like it took FOREVER."
OVERALL SHOW: Not a horrible show, just a kind of boring one. Steiners and Yoko are solid guys and the Battle Royal wasn't so hot until it came down the the Final Four. The main story of Brutus Beefcake was a bit of a let down, just because I, and I'm not alone here, don't care. When he started getting beat down everyone rose up and immediately looked towards the entrance way. And you know who they were looking for. And speaking of that....
NEXT WEEK: Vince says Money Inc. will be in action and then says "If they're here it wouldn't surprise me either if HULK HOGAN shows up here on RAW." What a great tease. Also next week is a six-man tag between Tatanka and The Nasties vs. HBK and The Beverly's. Sounds like a fun show.