Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The New Generation Era Project: RAW Review Week 6

Manhattan Civic Center

Ugh. Raw kicks off with a Bartlett opening where he points at some folks with a Hulk sign and says, "I've learned a valuable lesson, wrestling fans CAN spell...Live from New York it's Monday Night RAW!!!"

Not even Rob Bartlett can make me not excited for the return of the Hulkster. It's gotta be interesting, right?

Yes. That Scott Taylor. A 22 year old, mullet wearing, Scotty 2 Hotty. Actually Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Bam Bam would be pretty freaking awesome. Remember that series he had with Dean Malenko over the Lightheavyweight title 11 years ago? Look it up, punk. Anyway..... Bam Bam gets this crowd riled up beating up Scott Taylor. And instead of staying heel like he has been up until now, Bammer just plays with them and feeds off of it. He dominates Scott in what is probably Bigelow's best squash match so far. He uses a double underhook into a backbreaker to set up the diving headbutt. Good stuff. Scotty actually tried to make comebacks and so this was mildly more competitive than I thought it would be.

It's a quick interview where Hulk kind of admits he gave in to peer pressure and made some mistakes. But now it's not going to be ":do as I say, not as I do" but "do as I do", because he'll be actually following THE DEMANDMENTS. Speaking of the Demandments, there are now FIVE:

2. Say your prayers.
3. Eat vitamins.
4.Believe in yourself.
5.Believe in Hulk Hogan

....Wow. There's something kind Orwellian about the new Demandments.
All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others

This one starts off really well with Shawn and The Beverly's running around and bumping for the good guys. It starts to slip when it settles down with Brian Knobbs playing "face in peril". He's honestly awful at it. He kind of does this dramatic fall when he makes a little comeback and it's cool the first time but he does it like three times, and by then I just wanted him to get the hel up and tag out. Tatanka was hot as hell when he finally got in and he and Shawn worked a new finish counter. That's two matches where Tatanka has countered Shawn's "Tear Drop Suplex". It's a really cool wrestling thing where it seems very apparent that he's got that move totally scouted, and now you wonder what Shawn has to come up with to beat him at Wrestlemania. Decent match.

This one is kind of hit and miss. Crush is over enough with the crowd to keep them engaged and Terry Taylor is big enough twerp for people to boo and cheer when he gets beat up. However, there's just some moments in this where it felt like Crush was going through the motions, and it really lost my interest. A bit of a let down really. It also doesn't help that the commentary was distracting with Rob Bartlett doing a fake phone in as Arnold Schwarzenegger. It was horrible. Wrestling in Hell is commentated by Michael Cole's Heel character, Rob Bartlett, and Mike Adamle.
The Island won't let me die!

Hulk basically recaps what happened last week and how scared he was in only the way the Hulkster can. Stuff gems like "My smile turned to fear." made it in there. Hulk got the fans to even give a poop about Brutus Beefcake. Once Beefcake gets out there they announce that they now have a new manager: JIMMY HART! Jimmy comes out and gives a great promo and acknowledges his past as a not so savory character. But he knows about managing tag teams and he knows this team will be the greatest tag team of all time. Just a really good promo from Jimmy. Hulkster gives the group a name: THE MEGAMANIACS, and challenges Money Inc. to any type of matches whether it's singles or tag team. We then get all the posing you can handle.

It's so weird that they didn't finish with the Hogan stuff. This is basically joined in progress and cut up to bits. They don't even show the finish, as they run out of time. We basically get them wandering around hitting each other on the outside. WEIRD.

Hulkster is back, which is kind of fun. The wrestling was decent between Bam Bam and the 6-Man tag. The ending was just plain odd.

Vince says we're going to get a WWF Championship match....Bret Hart vs....one of the Headshrinkers. He actually says it like that. They don't even know which one it's going to be. By the way, So far Hulk Hogan has had more screen time on RAW than Bret Hart. So has a lot of people actually. Shawn probably has the most.

I'm going to an Indy show (MAYBE TWO!) this weekend so I'll be bringing in some reports on those. Should be fun. I'll get to see Da Soul Touchaz which is always awesome. I've also got some other reviews for some shows that I hope to have up here to break up the New Era Project monotony. I've got some shows from EVOLVE, CHIKARA, IWRG, and a metric ton of Japanese stuff that I hope to review. Also looking for some very small indie stuff on Youtube to check out. The real small local stuff with unknowns. So if you've got some ideas on little promotions that I should check out give me a holla holla holla, playa!

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