Monday, June 20, 2011


Manhattan Center, New York

That's right, we've ended an era of Monday Night RAW. No more Rob Bartlett. Now we've got BOBBY THE BRAIN HEENAN replacing him, which is awesome. I'm going to savor every moment of this until he leaves the company. Macho actually asks where Bartlett is, and Heenan says, "If you want to talk to Rob Bartlett, you know where to find him....he's in the same place Jimmy Hoffa is." Now I feel bad for Jimmy Hoffa.

There's a neat spot where Damian tosses Perfect through the ropes and Perfect flies straight into the camera man who was filming him. Perfect takes quite a nifty bumps. Like slipping through the bottom rope and falling to the floor on his neck. It sounds worse than it was, but it was still pretty cool looking. Damian Demento has never had a match as good as this one. Sadly, he's still horrible, and while Perfect gives him a lot, Demento doesn't have the presence to take advantage of it. He's a big guy, but he rarely looks tough. Still if you want to see the best match of his career, this is it.

After the match to cut to the announce table and there's a guy behind Savage with a "BRING BACK FLAIR SIGN." We then cut to Jasmine McNeill, who went to a school that Savage worked with or something. She's reading her essay in a dark room with a lone spot light on her. It's called "No Hope With Dope." and is a story written from the POV of a dead drug user in a casket looking up at her family members who are all so sad and angry that her life ended this way. She ends it with the title line "There's no hope in dope." Then THE GONG SOUNDS and THE UNDERTAKER emerges from the shadows and says, "There's No Hope In Dope." as his music cues up. TREMENDOUS.

Before the match, Heenan brings up that there's a couple in the front row, and the guy is planning on proposing. Heenan says he's going to make sure she says no. The guy's name is PAUL SOSNOWSKI. You've probably heard of him at some point if you frequent message boards or have watched a lot of Ring of Honor. You've probably seen him sporting some Green Lantern gear.

Luger and Crush both look amp'd. We start off with a little test of strength spot that Luger controls first before Crush comes back by breaking the hold and hoisting up Luger for Gorilla Press Slam.  He actually fits in a couple of military press reps before tossing him. Really impressive stuff. After the commercial break, Crush throws an awesome side belly to belly suplex, which is one of my favorite suplexes. He gets Luger up really high before swinging around and driving him to the ground.

When I was young, I thought you could achieve this by using an eraser.
The pacing of this is just spot on. Luger busts his ass and Crush looks really motivated. Everything just happens at the right moment, and the execution of some of the power moves are great. Crush really comes out looking solid. He got his Cranium Crush hold on and Luger couldn't get out. The only reason he escapes is because Crush gets distracted by that damn Doink who's up in the balcony. After a moment Doink points to the other side of the building where there's ANOTHER Doink! Luger takes this moment to nail Crush with the forearm, knocking the Hawaiian unconscious and out of the ring for a count out.

This is Crush's best singles match so far and probably Luger's(since coming in of course) too. They really clicked and this is worth finding. I'm sure dailymotion or youtube has it.

Man, this card is stacked so far. We even get the World's Sexiest Man. Jason actually looks a bit bigger than the last time we saw him. Doesn't matter though. Mr. Hughes just throws him around like a doll. Pretty decent squash, but nothing more.

Shawn kicks things off by talking smack about New York city being the armpit of the nation. Some garbage is thrown at him. He says two guys in the audience look familiar and that he seems to remember seeing them doing some kind of march in Washington. I'm going to assume it was a bunch of gay people by the way people responded. If it were black people marching, things might get a little crazy. The crowd then starts a really loud "SHAWN IS GAY" chant. Heenan responds with, "If you only knew.... *pause* how sharp he is." BRILLIANT. They get tired of all the words and start chanting "HO-MO." Eventually Mr. Perfect comes out and chases Shawn to the back.

After the commercial they replay the Tatanka/Bam Bam Bigelow stuff from Superstars, which hopefully means they're going to forget about the Friar Ferguson stuff from last week on RAW.

Aw hell, I thought Typhoon was gone by now. The Future Vito gets to control a lot of the match, but he doesn't seem to have anything to do. Some eye rakes and punches to the head. He looks plain lost. Typhoon, after getting beat up for most of the match, comes back and hits the splash for the win. Forgettable. I wish Typhoon had something else to do.

Heenan Interviews them before the guy proposes and it's RIDICULOUS.

Heenan: How many girls have you been with before her?
Paul: None.
Heenan: How many men have you been with?
Louise: None.
Heenan: How do you even know if you're sexually compatible?!
Paul: We've been going out for five years today.
Heenan: Her best deal is to go to a biker's convention for the weekend!

Madness. Heenan asks if they'll get married on Raw and they decline. He asks Paul how many Cracker Jacks he had to eat to get the ring. He's just crushing it tonight. Thank goodness Barlett wasn't running this thing.

This is actually one of the best RAWs of the year. The gaga stuff with Paul Sosnowski was entertaining thanks to Heenan, and there was some good wrestling. We got Damian Demento, Crush, and Luger's best matches in one night. We had some notable ECW alumni for jobbers and raucous interview with Shawn Michaels. Pretty awesome show, I think.

NEXT WEEK: HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN vs. SHAWN MICHAELS. I hope that's good. Also there,s some KOTR qualifying matches happening on Superstars and Challenge, that look awesome. Things are picking up, methinks.

1 comment:

  1. It's pretty ridiculous that WWF let Heenan go when they did, especially considering that they still employ Jerry Lawler. Heenan was still at the top of his game here, Lawler has been pretty terrible since the "puppies!" screaming back in the late 90s. He was outlandishly terrible at Capitol Punishment yesterday. He sounded like he was falling asleep.