Tuesday, July 12, 2011

THE NEW GENERATION ERA PROJECT: SUPERSTARS 05:01:93

UNDERTAKER PROMO
We kick off with an Undertaker promo, where he tells Harvey Whippleman he can't destroy what can't be destroyed. Good times.

THE HEADSHRINKERS vs. SCOTT BAZO & BOB YOUNG
Bob Young, in red, starts things off and gets owned. Headshrinkers take a page out of the Foundation's book and use a version of the Hart Attack. Then they toss Young to Bazo for a tag. Cuz they don't care.

What follows is one of the greatest nut shots of all time. Bazo stumbles into the ring and before he can say "Blueberry Pancakes", Fatu superkicks him in face. Bazo back bumps and Fatu's leg, that just kicked Bazo in the face, comes down on Bazo's ballzini's. Welcome to the big time, buddy.

I bet they walk around their apartment with cardboard replica titles.
Anyway, they hit him with that Double Stroke Maneuver, and Fatu hits the top rope splash for the in. Fun times. Fun times. After the match they show the replay of the testicle stepping, complete with audio of Bazo crying in pain. I LOVE IT.

VIRGIL vs. WHITE SHADOW
Holy balls Virgil almost fooled me into thinking he was good because he looked so motivated in this squash. But then you watch him deliver a DDT or a Russian Leg Sweep and realize he still stinks. Nothing special here, though I'm still trying to figure out who White Shadow is. Any one know?

KING OF THE RING QUALIFIER #1
DOINK THE CLOWN vs. MR. PERFECT
I didn't realize this but Doink has really long hair, and his hair was falling out the back of his mask the whole match. I guess he didn't notice it until he got out there, because he got distracted by it quite a bit. I kind of liked it because it made him look even crazier.

This is pretty good, but Perfect seemed a little off. There was a point where he couldn't decide if he wanted to do an inside cradle or a Perfect Plex, so he kind of did both. Also, I didn't like the time limit draw is it came out of nowhere, and felt like they just ended the match at a random interval. I'd like to see these two go a little longer, with out the time limit finish.
There's probably 40 somethin' dudes laying under his floor boards.

TYPHOON vs. LARRY LUDDEN
Ludden got tossed around and dominated by Typhoon. Nothing special other than Typhoon looking pretty damn solid. I wish they'd give him something new to do. He could have been Mark Henry before Mark Henry was Mark Henry.

LEX LUGER vs. TERRY ZELLER
The mirror is set up in the ring and Luger checks himself out. When he walks away Zeller steps in and checks himself out. Luger gets pizzed and forearms him. Knock Out. Luger rolls Zeller out of the ring and the ref checks on him while Luger continues to check himself out. That's it. The End. It's kind of brilliant, really.


OVERALL SHOW: Slightly disappointing as my expectations for the Perfect/Doink match was too high. BUT we did get the Bazo Ball Shot, so it kind of evens out to good.

2 comments:

  1. This recap was very effective in making me want to see a jobber get hit in the nuts.

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  2. The accidental shoot ball shot in a wrestling match is a rare and valuable jewel to me. My favorite of all time is Dr. Death Steve Williams getting drilled by Barry Windham's forehead during a leap frog attempt at Starcade '87.

    Stops the match dead, and we get to watch Williams tug at his balls trying to get everything back in order. Funniest shit I've ever seen in my life.

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