Thursday, August 18, 2011

THE NEW GENERATION ERA PROJECT: SUPERSTARS REVIEW


05:15:1993


THE STEINERS vs. MARK MING & JIM ARMSTRONG
This is ridiculous. Mark Ming starts off by eating a Dragon Suplex from Scotty. He just lays there so Scotty drags him over to Jim Armstonr go he can just tag out. Poor Jim gets mixed up with Rick. Rick just punches him in the face. Then he follows it up by giving Mr. Armstrong maybe the scariest damn German Suplex I've ever seen. There's just no way to protect yourself with these guys. Ming gets tagged back in and he's got this look like "What more could you do to me?" He gets the Doomsday Bulldog and heads off to the pay windah. And a chiropractor.

MR. HUGHES vs. BOBBY YOUNG
I love it when matches just start off with a chokeslam. Let's just get right to it. Hughes just keeps slamming the guy until he gets bored and pins him. Move along. Nothing to see here.

BOB BACKLUND vs. TERRY ZELLER
Bob clowns this guy with some monkey flips and some rasslin', The crowd digs it. They even popped for a body slam.....maybe they thought he was going to bust out a Michinoku Driver..... did that even exist then?

Boni gets her first glimpse of Giant Gonzalez' Wrestlemania gear.
BONI BLACKSTONE INTERVIEWS LEX LUGER
Boni used to host Superstars of Wrestling with Gordon Solie and was apart of the announce team for Global Wrestling Federation. She starts off admiring the amazing physique of The Narcissist and then moves things to the Steel Plate and how he should where a protective covering. Luger plays nice at first but as she presses the issue he gets pissed and tells her no body will get in his way and he'll knock anyone out who gets in his way.

VIRGIL vs. JOSE MARTINEZ
Pretty messy at first with Virgil delivering a terrible Japanese Armdrag. Then Jose goes for back body drop and Virgil can't decide if he's doing a blockbuster or a swinging neck breaker and Jose gets lost on the bump. After some more clunky wrestling Virgil ends it with a horrendous Russian Leg Sweep. He just bumps on his hip while delivering it. Awful.

SHAWN MICHAELS vs. BILLY JONES
Billy Jones totally does the Arsenio Hall thing when they call his name. His mullet also has beads in it. Billy Jones is an interesting guy. HBK in classic douche mode, smacking Billy around and looking disinterested in the task at hand. He sets up the Super Kick nicely, nailing Jones after Jones counters a back body drop by jumping over him. Then he pins him by doing a pinup pose. Classy.

KING OF THE RING QUALIFYING MATCH
GIANT GONZALEZ vs. TATANKA
This was actually a pretty decent at first with Tatanka bumping around for Gonzalez and keeping the pace pretty high. Then Gonzalez starts selling for Tatanka. He's absolutely horrible at selling. He kept putting his hand to his face like someone was punching him in the face, while Tatanka was hitting him in the gut. Tatanka tries to drop the big monster with chops from the top but gets caught with a choke. Bill Alfonso goes to warn him but gets pushed out of the way resulting in a DQ. Tatanka advances.

OVERALL SHOW:
Pretty weak compared to some of the other squash shows from this month. Steiners look like they're bored killing jobbers and they're trying to entertain themselves by seeing how bad they can beat the shit out of them. Some pretty bad stuff like Gonzalez and Virgil didn't help. The highlight would probably be Lex Luger's promo, and not that it was bad or anything, but when that's the highlight, you've got a pretty weak show.

1 comment:

  1. The Steiners are ruthless assholes. I'm glad that TNA and WWE don't use job guys (even if it would probably help get people over) because they just get taken advantage of by jerks like the Steiners and Bulldogs. They're trying to end these guys' careers!

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