Friday, October 28, 2011

THE NEW GENERATION ERA PROJECT: SUPERSTARS REVIEW 06:05:1993

So this mob boss that I kind of screwed over caught up to me while I was helping some friends and I'll be damned if that fat bastard didn't freeze me in carbonite. But it's all good, I'm out now.

Let's KICK THIS MOTHER OFF RIGHT.

PAPA SHANGO vs. BRET "HITMAN" HART
Something about Bret Hart makes dudes bring their workin' boots. It's gotta be the best Papa Shango match I've ever seen. It never really felt like it dragged, even during the chin lock sections. The finish was interesting because Shango totally hit his Shoulder Breaker finish, but opted for an ill-timed leg drop instead of going for the pin. The highlight may be Bret hitting what looks like a version of KENTA's Busaiku Knee Kick thingy.

Headshrinker in training.
THE HEADSHRINKERS vs. TIM MCNEANY & SCOTT TAYLOR
That guy's name is McNeany. I've never ever ever never ever heard of such a name. From a distance he kind of looks like Ray Liotta. Anyway.....McNeany gets slapped a lot before Fatu splashes him. Then after it's over with the Headshrinkers beat them up with a PINEAPPLE. Yep.

KAMALA vs. PHIL APOLLO
Crap. Kamala time. I'm pretty sure Kamala applied what can only be described as an ARMPIT CLAW. So... at least I saw that. Tim White looking so tired and piteous trying to explain to Kamala how to pin a fucking guy for the bajillionth time cracked me up pretty good.

LEX LUGER vs. JASON KNIGHT
I feel like I've seen this before. Jason has bulked up a little since January, which makes Luger look even more impressive. He's just plain small compared to The Narcissist. the match isn't much, but holy crap is Lex's running forearm awesome. He nails it like a Pounce and his reaction afterwards was tremendous. I can only describe it as him acting like an anvil or something must have come out of the sky and landed on Jason. 

MR. HUGHES vs. RUSS GREENBERG
AWWWwwwww YEAH RUSS GREENBERG IS BACK! 

This guy. Jesus, this guy. Everyone should have the pleasure of watching Russ Greenberg exist. Remember when Earthquake squashed hulk Hogan and he was convulsing and you thought the Hulkster was dying? Russ Greenberg kind sells like that for everything. But it's like a half-assed impression. Couple that with his mullet and Russ Greenberg is one of the most hilarious pro wrestler to watch.

The Tim Tebow of Wrestling
THE SMOKING GUNNS vs. DALE WOLF & GUS KANTARAKIS
Billy Gunn is so energetic. He has to be one of the most high energy guys in wrestling. Everything he does he with such gusto. His drop kicks, his Russian leg sweeps, his power slams, all that stuff looks great when he does it. Pretty decent squash mostly because of how fast paced it was, and it also because it features that back body drop pile driver thingy. 

UNDERTAKER WILL MESS YOU UP
I only wanted to mention this, because it sounded so amazing. Mean Gene is doing his "Face To Face" segment and it's Whippleman and Gonzalez on one screen and Undertaker and Paul Bearer on the other(It's not really face to face). Whippleman spouts off some garbage about ending Undertaker's career and Gene asks Paul Bearer for a response. Paul Bearer says the following:

....My Undertaker will reach into his head and pull out his eyeballs and spit into the open sockets of his dead skull....
So yeah. That's awesome.

OVERALL SHOW
Pretty decent Shango/Hitman match and some decent squashes. The only down side was the Kamala match.
Plus we got GREENBERG'D. 

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