Saturday, March 24, 2012

RESISTANCE PRO OBSESSION 03/23/12 LIVE SHOW REVIEW

This might get long, pack a lunch.

OPENING MADNESS

D'arcy Dixon and her man toy came out and did some bodybuilder poses. It was all very impressive looking. She got on the microphone and said that she's still managing the Briscoes(I bet they've probably forgotten all about this by now) and they'll be the first tag champs of Resistance Pro. She then said she's also trying to create the best tag team in the world with her guy Eric St. Vaughn. This of course makes no sense, since she already has the Briscoes who some people would consider the best tag team in the world. But it telegraphs nicely the moment when Jay Briscoe goes "Hey, who the fuck are you?" and Darcy's new team jumps them.

Then things got weird.

Lou E Dangerously  jumped the railing and got in the ring. For those who don't know, which includes plenty of people at the show, Lou E. got into a "twitter war" with R-Pro and Billy Corgan over Rhino's use of the ECW title. He doesn't like it. He wants the microphone to talk to Billy. Corgan comes down and tells Darcy to let him speak, and so Lou starts off by apologizing for everything he said. Billy totally doesn't accept the apology and so Lou launches into a diatribe about how shitty Chicago is and how phony the Smashing Pumpkins were. He even tells everyone that the Pumpkins were apart of a payola scam where they paid stations to play their music and that's what Billy is doing now he's "paying to play". Then security escorts him out.

I will say the D'Arcy Dixon was again really entertaining, and they should probably do something more useful with her than have her be manager of team that's only been booked once and who knows when they're booked again.

Let's get on to some wrestling....

TRIPP CASSIDY & BIG SUE JACKSON vs. MATT CROSS & CHRIS HALL
For those that care/remember, Matt Cross actually chose Mr. 450 at the last show to be his partner, but at the start of this match Mr. 450 was jumped by the massive Chris Hall(the guy who fought Jay Bradley that I liked) and couldn't be in the match.

Some big problems with this match. For one, Tripp and Sue came in like heels which would normally be fine. But Matt Cross has been a heel for the past two shows now and this time he actually had his own partner sneak attacked so he could get a better one. Now we're going to watch these two heel teams wrestle and decide which one we hate less to cheer for. This also seems to be a consistent gripe of mine from this company. Why put two heels against each other? Why make it the first match of the show? It's nonsensical.

The match itself wasn't so hot either. They seemed really awkward with each other, and Tripp Cassidy was showing tons of light in his offense. It was just very obvious that he wasn't connecting with anything and it was all leg slappy. The group I was with couldn't really get behind him as a face because of that and so it hurt the match a even more than the already awkward situation they were placed in. Sue Jackson had some fun stuff when he got hot tagged. He's like this old timey looking guy that has a very strange personality and lots of folks gravitated to it while he waited on the apron for a hot tag. I wouldn't mind seeing these guys have another shot with better circumstances, but this was a real clunker.

Cross/Hall won the match and beat up Mr. 450, who came back to hit a 450 on Matt Cross during the match, and Cross cut a nice promo about why he changed his mind and picked Chris Hall. Let's move on.

ACH vs. ROBERT ANTHONY
Hell's yeah to this match. Robert Anthony is easily one of the best parts of Resistance Pro at this point. He's entertaining and he can actually wrestle a decent match. ACH really connected with the fans and had some fun athletic offense. He's did a really awesome spot where he looked like he was going to baseball a seated Robert Anthony off the apron but instead he slid past him, rebounded off the guardrail and did a jumping clothesline(his feet going over the bottom rope) back into the ring. I hope that made sense. Describing things is hard.

Anyway this was a blast, with a really solid finishing sequence and the crowd was all for it. Anthony won with his weird Surf Board finisher(he kind of catapults them from a surfboard into the mat) but the crowd didn't seem too upset at the outcome. Hope ACH comes back as he really connects with the crowd and he's not to shabby in the ring.


THE MATRIX TAYLOR MADE vs. SERENITY
Jesus, this match. Taylor is a Dominatrix type character that runs with Melanie Cruise(the champion, for those who don't know) and Serenity and her have been having some run-ins as of late. Taylor kind of assisted Melanie in disposing of Serenity in a match a while back, and then at the last show Serenity jumped Made to keep her from interfering in another match. But none of that matters.

Because these two shouldn't wrestle each other ever again.

For one, Taylor Made's gear was malfunctioning and she had to keep asking Melanie to fix her top. Then Serenity would slap her in the boob and she'd need to fix her top again. And this went on for ages. If it was all just Serenity doing armdrags

After the match, Melanie Cruise was informed that she'll be defending her belt against Angelina Love. Cruise says it's not fair because her knee still hurts and stuff.


#1 CONTENDER FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
JAY BRADLEY vs. SEAN "X-PAC" WALTMAN

Fucking awesome match. Waltman let it all hang out and took a really nasty bump to the outside that I thought was going to stop the match. He slung Jay into a poll. The pole has this kind of metal fitting that allows you to set your drinks on it. Jay hits the poll and knocks some bottles over that break around him. Then Waltman runs at him and Jay kind of alley opp tosses him in the air. Waltman hits the second floor balcony and he almost wraps around the pole. On his way down his thigh comes right across this metal drink holder and he wrecks some more glasses. Between the broken glass and the way his thigh came across the drink holder I thought he was screwed, but he managed to keep going.

His offense was clean and his kicks still looked pretty lethal. He hit Jay with the X-Factor, but couldn't keep him down. Then he got Bradley in the corner and hit the Bronco Buster. When he got up and celebrate with the fans Jay just stood up, took off his elbow pad and nailed the lariat for the win. I don't know how you can put a guy over any more than Waltman did Jay Bradley last night. After the match Waltman said some nice things about Chicago and said that Jay Bradley was one bad dude and the future of wrestling. Lots of love for Waltman, and deservedly so. He brought it big time and did more to make Jay Bradley in one match than all the squashes and promos that he's had over the last few shows. Great stuff and worth tracking down.

JON SKYLAR & ASHTON VUTTON vs. LINCE DORADO & SAMURAY DEL SOL
This match suffered from being too long, and too much of Samuray Del Sol fitting in all of his shit for the first half. It was too much and the pacing suffered for it, because it had no rhyme or reason to it. He just did a reel of stuff and then said, "okay now beat me up and let's hot tag Lince". This was a better showing for Jon Skylar, who wasn't so hot against Robert Anthony last month. Vutton has a GREAT look, but he really didn't get to do much of anything except help Samuray do all his stuff. I kind of felt bad for him.

Lince was great though. He was really clean and crisp with what he got to do, and the finishing stretch was fun once he got involved and. I could get behind seeing more of him, but hopefully he tells Samuray to pull it back a notch. They won with a Double C4 from the top, which was RIDICULOUS LOOKING so they'll be coming back for the tag tournament.

FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH
THE SHEIK vs. STEVEN WALTERS
Now what am I supposed to lean on?
Really fun brawl match with some nasty bumps. I wouldn't have believed it but Sheik and Walters really seem to get the best out of each other. I really liked the opening with Sheik trying to take it outside and Walters trying to keep it inside. It shows strategy between the two, with Sheik wanting to take advantage of the stipulation and Walters thinking his best shot is between the ropes, which makes total sense. That's right, something made TOTAL SENSE.

Early on Sheik stole the guardrail I was leaning on (again) and went to powerbomb Walters on it like he did at the last show, but Walters reversed it into a back body drop. That's a nice callback to the last show and a nod to people who are paying attention. Like me. I pay attention.

Steven Walters also had biggest spot of the match when he did a flying cross body from the balcony to the ring. It felt even higher and more spectacular than Teddy's moonsault at the first show and the crowd blew the hell up for it. I mean it was nuts. Somehow that WASN'T the finish, and I truly hated that. Sheik kicked out, Rinaldo Piven distracted Walters and Sheik made him tap with the Camel Clutch. I think that was BULLSHIT. Sheik shouldn't have kicked out. Especially if you're going to have Piven interfere, might as well have him break up the pin. But considering what happens in the next match, it probably would have been better to have Walters win. That's foreshadowing, folks.

After the match Walters cut a promo saying he was tired of losing and that he now denounces the USA and wants to join the Sheik. He actually got Sheik's prayer carpet out and prayed to him and then kissed his little pointy shoes. It's a little over the top, but then again, Steven Walters is a little over the top.

RESISTANCE PRO HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH & ECW TITLE MATCH
RHINO vs. HARRY SMITH
These two are GREAT together. And the crowd was much less anti-Harry as they were at the last show, which is a good sign. Rhino is still damn awesome and he's just plain creepy. At one point he had Harry down and licked his torso like a lion to a dead gazelle. I think that's what probably got people on Harry's side. It also helped when they announced Rhino from Detroit and you know us folks in Chicago, we fucking hate some Detroit.

Harry is such a solid wrestler and I think people are really under rating him. People talk about guys putting on exhibitions and social dance wrestling, Harry always looks like a guy who's trying to win. He went for the Sharpshooter early and any time he saw an opening he went for it. I like that kind of stuff. His stuff technical stuff is clean and clear and when he starts throwing his weight around it has impact. Little by little we're getting more of his personality, which is very very competitive and I think he just needs to amplify that. He needs to be more Kobe and less Derrick Rose in that department, if that makes any sense.

As you can see, Rhino is just about to counter that shit.
THE FINISH
So Harry has Rhino in the Sharpshooter. Lou E Dangerously gets on the stage and tries to steal the ECW title. Another guy is there and they do a tug of war over it. Lou wins but falls backwards through the ropes and onto the ref. The bell rings and it's ruled a No Contest.

Yep.

Rhino gets on the mic and says that it's bullshit and that he was just about to counter the Sharpshooter and win(I love him). Billy Corgan comes down and says fuck a lot because that's how we show anger. It's an all ages show by the way. Plenty of kids. (Could probably learn a thing or two from Chikara about doing an all ages show, by the way). He says Rhino was totally going to tap out. Then he decides that they're going to fight again at the next show in a STEEL CAGE for both the belts. The Raven came out and said, he'll impartially referee the match. And Billy was cool with this. Because it makes sense to include another ECW alumnus in a feud in which ECW alumni are trying to fuck over the champion. He also did a heck of a job putting over Harry by saying "He's doing an...eh...okay job as champion." Jesus.

Did I mention Jay Bradley was scouting at ringside, because he was supposed to wrestle the winner at the next show? Did I mention the crowd started chanting "What about Jay?" during this? Did I mention that they just ignored us and Jay? Did I mention that this was fucking horrible way to send people home?

Awful. The folks I was around looked like some one was farting in their face, and some of them seemed very disinterested about coming to the next show, steel cage stipulation be damned. It just made no damn sense. Rhino putting up the ECW title was interesting because it was actually less about ECW and more about how desperate Rhino was. He was willing to give up something important to him to get a title match. Now it's very much about ECW and Billy and Lou E. Dangerously of all people. I loved ECW back in the day but I do not care about this. The ECW Nostalgia angles are totally worn out and the returns are diminishing.

Resistance Pro takes their audience for granted and it's mind numbingly frustrating. They basically sent us home happy by saying, "Hey, we know this sucks but you'll have the privilege of paying another 20 bucks to see a cage match at our next show! Isn't that awesome for you?" Thanks guys. The shows are fine when they let good wrestlers wrestle(See: Waltman/Bradley or Smith/Rhino) but they bog everything down in so much horseshit, it's absurd. They handicap themselves and their wrestlers with doofus gimmicks and poor poor poor really poor booking. They've really got to stop over complicating stuff and keep it simple. Reminds me a lot of TNA.

ACH vs. Robert Anthony, Walters vs. Sheik, Bradley vs. Waltman, and Rhino vs. Smith(until the finish) were all good matches you should track down. These guys were great and they tried to give the fans a good show, and for that I thank them. But they need to tell their bosses to get out of the way.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

THE WWF NEW GENERATION ERA PROJECT: SUPERSTARS REVIEW 08/07/1993

THE SMOKING GUNNS vs.WELL DUNN
This is the debut of Well Dunn, and their gear is horrific. At first it doesn't look two different than Mr. Perfects. They're neon green with black tights. The neon green part hugs the nuts like mad, and it's bikini cut so it lloks like they've got a wedgie. Almost as bad as their gear is Vince McMahon running through almost all of the Well/Dunn puns humanely possible in the first minute and a half of the match.

You know Vince originally didn't want the black shorts.
The match itself was decent but didn't feature any particularly memorable moments. Timothy Well snapped off a nice side belly to belly suplex for a near fall, and Bart actually did a decent job playing face in peril. I don't remember a whole lot from Well Dunn, so I'm pretty excited to see more of them.


ADAM BOMB vs. CHAZ WARE
Chaz Ware is the future Mosh/Beaver Cleavage. He looks incredibly uncomfortable. Bomber makes short work of him with a drop kick, flying clothesline and a Power Bomb. Chaz's bumping is kind of goofy, like watching guys in old Western Serials getting shot. It's entertaining, but probably not what he should be going with.

DOINK THE CLOWN vs. JOEY MAGGS
Joey Maggs' mullet is long and flowing like a horses mane. He tries to sneak attack Doink but can't capitalize on it. Doink decides to jack Joey's leg up by sitting on it a few times and kicking it a bunch. Then he kills him with a Whoopie Cushion. Not a classic Doink squash by any means. Bring this man some competition!

TITO SANTANA vs. BARRY HARDY
But Joey Maggs' mullet will never be Barry Hardy's two-toned masterpiece. This was actually a really solid squash. Tito's a guy that I think some light weights should study. He's really good at making a match fast paced while making everything he does mean something. Some guys think fast paced means fitting in a bunch of shit as quickly as possible. Tito Santana just does arm drags and body slams but the way he paces himself(the pauses between, the way he snaps into them) makes each one of them mean something. Barry Hardy is great at just hanging with him and letting him do his thing. A current guy that I think has learned how to do that is Austin Aries.


BASTION BOOGER vs. MIKE BELL
This girl's reaction to this match is better than anything I can say about it:

You can see her reliving what she just witnessed, and it hurts. It hurts a lot.


AND THAT'S HOW YOU END A SHOW!


OVERALL SHOW. Nothing much here folks. A decent debut from Well Dunn and some good action from Tito Santana. Oh, and that poor girl's reaction to Bastion Booger. That may have been worth it. Next week they promise me the debut of the Heavenly Bodies, so I've got that to look forward.

Also, I believe the MSG show they're hyping was fancam'd and up on Dailymotion, so I'll be reviewing that soon. Pretty excited to see Lawler/Savage and Bret/Yoko in a cage.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

YOUTUBE WRESTLING SUPER GLORIOUS ENJOYMENT TIME

STARRING MICHAEL TARVER
So with all the youtube hunting I have to do for March Madness, and all the ridiculous indy stuff I've found I got inspired tonight and decided to search for Michael Tarver. Hey, he's still wrestling! Hey, some of it on youtube! Hey, he's still fun to watch!

vs. TITAN

Titan is apparently 7 ft tall. Tarver has this bizarre physical presence that makes you take notice of him. I love it when he's in the ring with a bigger guy. He kind of restrains himself like he's saying "I'm not going to come over there and whip your ass right now, because I'm scared of how bad I'll hurt you." when he's really thinking "I'm not going to come over there and whip your ass right now because I know you'll beat the shit out of me."

I also dig it when he has Titan in a rear chin lock, and Titan starts to power out. Tarver just headbutts him in the trapezius and takes over again. Brilliant.

vs. TOMKO


The was pretty much watchable only because of Tarver. His mugging and grandstanding to Tomko was fun, and he looked fine beating him down. Tomko just looks like he doesn't care too much about anything any more. There was some awkwardness towards the end, but Tarver was good about just moving forward and getting past it.


vs. BRUCE SANTEE


Santee is an alright baby face and the crowd was really behind him. That helped a lot but this still felt like it went 3 minutes too long. Loved Tarver's bumping in this. He has such a hard snap to his bumping that it looks like whoever is hitting is really knocking the piss out of him. Fun match that's worth hitting up.

vs. MAXWELL CHICAGO


Chicago is kind of a goofy fun loving face, and his act is enjoyable in the beginning with the "hit and run" bits. It picked up after Tarver's valet slapped some sense into him and he looked good beating the kid up. I love body scissors. You don't see that move very often. I thought it was a little ridiculous that Tarver needed help putting Maxwell away, because at no point was he really presented as a serious threat, but it didn't hurt the match any.

Anyway let me know what you think of Michael Tarver. He kind of reminds me of Buzz Sawyer but not as crazy or as good sadly. But the fact that he reminds me of Buzz Sawyer at all has to be a plus, right?

Maybe I'll do some Buzz Sawyer matches for the next one of these....

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

THE WWF NEW GENERATION ERA PROJECT: RAW REVIEW WEEK 28

08.02.1993
We get a recap of the challenge from Doink to Macho Man. Macho gets to cut a promo and he is in this insane Captain America looking gear, that I can't even focus on the words coming out of his mouth.

THE STEINERS vs. BARRY HOROWITZ & DUANE GILL
Horowitz was great working the crowd and getting some laughs before getting his brains scrambled by The Steiners. Nothing much to this one other than seeing two great jobbers getting dismantled by two great jobber destroyers.
A stud if ever there was one..

LEX LUGER WAS IN CHORUS
So they're doing this "Who is Lex Luger" interviews where he talks about he was growing up and why you should vote for him to be world champion. I mean, why you should cheer for him and buy his merchandise. And love America. It's kind of interesting listening to him talk about how he was kind of picked on thinking he was full of himself when really he's just a shy, introverted person. He said that he even deals with that now. It actually kind of reminds me of how Superstars talk about the Be A Star program and their own experiences.

ADAM BOMB vs. TONY ROY
Bomb destroyed Roy and did some pretty rad stuff. I love the way he drapes guys over the ropes. There's a lot you can do with as a move to wear guys down. He also has a nice top rope clothesline that's worth mentioning. It's kind of wash, rinse, repeat for him right now. Every squash is kind of the same, but it's all good work. I'm ready for him to get involved with another bigger name. Bigger than Tony Roy anyway.

"MACHO MAN" RANDY SAVAGE vs. DOINK THE CLOWN

The opening bits to this are great. Doink would laugh at Savage maniacally and it drove Macho nuts. Doink would stall and giggle and finally he came in and bit Savage's face and that set Randy off. Savage hit the outside and grabbed a chair, ready to fuck this clown up, but when the ref held him back Doink capitalized and took control of the match.

Once Doink takes over you get a pretty solid master class in being an under dog from Savage. Few people can sell an ass kicking like Savage. He's in that Terry Funk category. And when he would try to make any comebacks often times it would appear like he just didn't have enough in him to make it work. So the crowd would get hot thinking, "Here he goes!" and then he's fall on his ass exhausted or not have enough speed to catch Doink, and the crowd would start thinking, "Maybe he ain't gonna make it this time." It's kind of brilliant.

Of course things get a little crazy for the finish. Doink missed the Whoopie Cushion and Savage rolled to the outside and climbed under the ring. Then a Macho Midget came out of the other side. Doink thought this was hilarious, but he paid too much attention to it and got rolled up by Savage for the win.

I probably would have liked a match better with out the shenanigans but this worked well and played off of Doink's shenanigans perfectly. Fun match worth checking out.

HOLY CRAP IT'S JIM CORNETTE
Out of nowhere Jim Cornette just saunters into the ring and Vince McMahon says "What's this man doing here?" Bobby Heenan goes BANANAS and hits the ring to give Corny a huge introduction calling him the greatest manager in wrestling. Really great rub from Heenan. They ask him about why he's here and what's going on with Smoky Mountain Wrestling. Corny says he's come to the WWF because he's found an amazing tag team that will dominate the WWF, something he hasn't done before. He says he's bringing in The Heavenly Bodies. This is so awesome and it's kind of surreal to here them talking about another wrestling organization. Jerry Lawler has been working for them for a while and I can't say I've ever heard them mention USWA. I'm pretty excited about this.

MR. PERFECT vs. BARRY HARDY
Perfect has a blast beating the snot out of Hardy and Barry should get mad props for keeping up. Hardy kind of played up the idea that they had similar tights in the beginning and by the end he strips him of his gear before finishing him with a Perfect Plex. Not too shabby.

OVERALL SHOW: Three good squashes and a great competitive match between two awesome wrestlers sounds like a pretty damn good show to me. Mix in Jim Cornette making his WWE debut, and you've got a pretty slam bang whiz show.

NEXT WEEK: Heavenly Bodies will be there to challenge the Steiners, Mr Hughes will wrestle Tatanka, and we'll have the contract signing between Lex Luger and Yokozuna. Sounds like a winner to me.