Saturday, March 24, 2012

RESISTANCE PRO OBSESSION 03/23/12 LIVE SHOW REVIEW

This might get long, pack a lunch.

OPENING MADNESS

D'arcy Dixon and her man toy came out and did some bodybuilder poses. It was all very impressive looking. She got on the microphone and said that she's still managing the Briscoes(I bet they've probably forgotten all about this by now) and they'll be the first tag champs of Resistance Pro. She then said she's also trying to create the best tag team in the world with her guy Eric St. Vaughn. This of course makes no sense, since she already has the Briscoes who some people would consider the best tag team in the world. But it telegraphs nicely the moment when Jay Briscoe goes "Hey, who the fuck are you?" and Darcy's new team jumps them.

Then things got weird.

Lou E Dangerously  jumped the railing and got in the ring. For those who don't know, which includes plenty of people at the show, Lou E. got into a "twitter war" with R-Pro and Billy Corgan over Rhino's use of the ECW title. He doesn't like it. He wants the microphone to talk to Billy. Corgan comes down and tells Darcy to let him speak, and so Lou starts off by apologizing for everything he said. Billy totally doesn't accept the apology and so Lou launches into a diatribe about how shitty Chicago is and how phony the Smashing Pumpkins were. He even tells everyone that the Pumpkins were apart of a payola scam where they paid stations to play their music and that's what Billy is doing now he's "paying to play". Then security escorts him out.

I will say the D'Arcy Dixon was again really entertaining, and they should probably do something more useful with her than have her be manager of team that's only been booked once and who knows when they're booked again.

Let's get on to some wrestling....

TRIPP CASSIDY & BIG SUE JACKSON vs. MATT CROSS & CHRIS HALL
For those that care/remember, Matt Cross actually chose Mr. 450 at the last show to be his partner, but at the start of this match Mr. 450 was jumped by the massive Chris Hall(the guy who fought Jay Bradley that I liked) and couldn't be in the match.

Some big problems with this match. For one, Tripp and Sue came in like heels which would normally be fine. But Matt Cross has been a heel for the past two shows now and this time he actually had his own partner sneak attacked so he could get a better one. Now we're going to watch these two heel teams wrestle and decide which one we hate less to cheer for. This also seems to be a consistent gripe of mine from this company. Why put two heels against each other? Why make it the first match of the show? It's nonsensical.

The match itself wasn't so hot either. They seemed really awkward with each other, and Tripp Cassidy was showing tons of light in his offense. It was just very obvious that he wasn't connecting with anything and it was all leg slappy. The group I was with couldn't really get behind him as a face because of that and so it hurt the match a even more than the already awkward situation they were placed in. Sue Jackson had some fun stuff when he got hot tagged. He's like this old timey looking guy that has a very strange personality and lots of folks gravitated to it while he waited on the apron for a hot tag. I wouldn't mind seeing these guys have another shot with better circumstances, but this was a real clunker.

Cross/Hall won the match and beat up Mr. 450, who came back to hit a 450 on Matt Cross during the match, and Cross cut a nice promo about why he changed his mind and picked Chris Hall. Let's move on.

ACH vs. ROBERT ANTHONY
Hell's yeah to this match. Robert Anthony is easily one of the best parts of Resistance Pro at this point. He's entertaining and he can actually wrestle a decent match. ACH really connected with the fans and had some fun athletic offense. He's did a really awesome spot where he looked like he was going to baseball a seated Robert Anthony off the apron but instead he slid past him, rebounded off the guardrail and did a jumping clothesline(his feet going over the bottom rope) back into the ring. I hope that made sense. Describing things is hard.

Anyway this was a blast, with a really solid finishing sequence and the crowd was all for it. Anthony won with his weird Surf Board finisher(he kind of catapults them from a surfboard into the mat) but the crowd didn't seem too upset at the outcome. Hope ACH comes back as he really connects with the crowd and he's not to shabby in the ring.


THE MATRIX TAYLOR MADE vs. SERENITY
Jesus, this match. Taylor is a Dominatrix type character that runs with Melanie Cruise(the champion, for those who don't know) and Serenity and her have been having some run-ins as of late. Taylor kind of assisted Melanie in disposing of Serenity in a match a while back, and then at the last show Serenity jumped Made to keep her from interfering in another match. But none of that matters.

Because these two shouldn't wrestle each other ever again.

For one, Taylor Made's gear was malfunctioning and she had to keep asking Melanie to fix her top. Then Serenity would slap her in the boob and she'd need to fix her top again. And this went on for ages. If it was all just Serenity doing armdrags

After the match, Melanie Cruise was informed that she'll be defending her belt against Angelina Love. Cruise says it's not fair because her knee still hurts and stuff.


#1 CONTENDER FOR THE HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
JAY BRADLEY vs. SEAN "X-PAC" WALTMAN

Fucking awesome match. Waltman let it all hang out and took a really nasty bump to the outside that I thought was going to stop the match. He slung Jay into a poll. The pole has this kind of metal fitting that allows you to set your drinks on it. Jay hits the poll and knocks some bottles over that break around him. Then Waltman runs at him and Jay kind of alley opp tosses him in the air. Waltman hits the second floor balcony and he almost wraps around the pole. On his way down his thigh comes right across this metal drink holder and he wrecks some more glasses. Between the broken glass and the way his thigh came across the drink holder I thought he was screwed, but he managed to keep going.

His offense was clean and his kicks still looked pretty lethal. He hit Jay with the X-Factor, but couldn't keep him down. Then he got Bradley in the corner and hit the Bronco Buster. When he got up and celebrate with the fans Jay just stood up, took off his elbow pad and nailed the lariat for the win. I don't know how you can put a guy over any more than Waltman did Jay Bradley last night. After the match Waltman said some nice things about Chicago and said that Jay Bradley was one bad dude and the future of wrestling. Lots of love for Waltman, and deservedly so. He brought it big time and did more to make Jay Bradley in one match than all the squashes and promos that he's had over the last few shows. Great stuff and worth tracking down.

JON SKYLAR & ASHTON VUTTON vs. LINCE DORADO & SAMURAY DEL SOL
This match suffered from being too long, and too much of Samuray Del Sol fitting in all of his shit for the first half. It was too much and the pacing suffered for it, because it had no rhyme or reason to it. He just did a reel of stuff and then said, "okay now beat me up and let's hot tag Lince". This was a better showing for Jon Skylar, who wasn't so hot against Robert Anthony last month. Vutton has a GREAT look, but he really didn't get to do much of anything except help Samuray do all his stuff. I kind of felt bad for him.

Lince was great though. He was really clean and crisp with what he got to do, and the finishing stretch was fun once he got involved and. I could get behind seeing more of him, but hopefully he tells Samuray to pull it back a notch. They won with a Double C4 from the top, which was RIDICULOUS LOOKING so they'll be coming back for the tag tournament.

FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH
THE SHEIK vs. STEVEN WALTERS
Now what am I supposed to lean on?
Really fun brawl match with some nasty bumps. I wouldn't have believed it but Sheik and Walters really seem to get the best out of each other. I really liked the opening with Sheik trying to take it outside and Walters trying to keep it inside. It shows strategy between the two, with Sheik wanting to take advantage of the stipulation and Walters thinking his best shot is between the ropes, which makes total sense. That's right, something made TOTAL SENSE.

Early on Sheik stole the guardrail I was leaning on (again) and went to powerbomb Walters on it like he did at the last show, but Walters reversed it into a back body drop. That's a nice callback to the last show and a nod to people who are paying attention. Like me. I pay attention.

Steven Walters also had biggest spot of the match when he did a flying cross body from the balcony to the ring. It felt even higher and more spectacular than Teddy's moonsault at the first show and the crowd blew the hell up for it. I mean it was nuts. Somehow that WASN'T the finish, and I truly hated that. Sheik kicked out, Rinaldo Piven distracted Walters and Sheik made him tap with the Camel Clutch. I think that was BULLSHIT. Sheik shouldn't have kicked out. Especially if you're going to have Piven interfere, might as well have him break up the pin. But considering what happens in the next match, it probably would have been better to have Walters win. That's foreshadowing, folks.

After the match Walters cut a promo saying he was tired of losing and that he now denounces the USA and wants to join the Sheik. He actually got Sheik's prayer carpet out and prayed to him and then kissed his little pointy shoes. It's a little over the top, but then again, Steven Walters is a little over the top.

RESISTANCE PRO HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH & ECW TITLE MATCH
RHINO vs. HARRY SMITH
These two are GREAT together. And the crowd was much less anti-Harry as they were at the last show, which is a good sign. Rhino is still damn awesome and he's just plain creepy. At one point he had Harry down and licked his torso like a lion to a dead gazelle. I think that's what probably got people on Harry's side. It also helped when they announced Rhino from Detroit and you know us folks in Chicago, we fucking hate some Detroit.

Harry is such a solid wrestler and I think people are really under rating him. People talk about guys putting on exhibitions and social dance wrestling, Harry always looks like a guy who's trying to win. He went for the Sharpshooter early and any time he saw an opening he went for it. I like that kind of stuff. His stuff technical stuff is clean and clear and when he starts throwing his weight around it has impact. Little by little we're getting more of his personality, which is very very competitive and I think he just needs to amplify that. He needs to be more Kobe and less Derrick Rose in that department, if that makes any sense.

As you can see, Rhino is just about to counter that shit.
THE FINISH
So Harry has Rhino in the Sharpshooter. Lou E Dangerously gets on the stage and tries to steal the ECW title. Another guy is there and they do a tug of war over it. Lou wins but falls backwards through the ropes and onto the ref. The bell rings and it's ruled a No Contest.

Yep.

Rhino gets on the mic and says that it's bullshit and that he was just about to counter the Sharpshooter and win(I love him). Billy Corgan comes down and says fuck a lot because that's how we show anger. It's an all ages show by the way. Plenty of kids. (Could probably learn a thing or two from Chikara about doing an all ages show, by the way). He says Rhino was totally going to tap out. Then he decides that they're going to fight again at the next show in a STEEL CAGE for both the belts. The Raven came out and said, he'll impartially referee the match. And Billy was cool with this. Because it makes sense to include another ECW alumnus in a feud in which ECW alumni are trying to fuck over the champion. He also did a heck of a job putting over Harry by saying "He's doing an...eh...okay job as champion." Jesus.

Did I mention Jay Bradley was scouting at ringside, because he was supposed to wrestle the winner at the next show? Did I mention the crowd started chanting "What about Jay?" during this? Did I mention that they just ignored us and Jay? Did I mention that this was fucking horrible way to send people home?

Awful. The folks I was around looked like some one was farting in their face, and some of them seemed very disinterested about coming to the next show, steel cage stipulation be damned. It just made no damn sense. Rhino putting up the ECW title was interesting because it was actually less about ECW and more about how desperate Rhino was. He was willing to give up something important to him to get a title match. Now it's very much about ECW and Billy and Lou E. Dangerously of all people. I loved ECW back in the day but I do not care about this. The ECW Nostalgia angles are totally worn out and the returns are diminishing.

Resistance Pro takes their audience for granted and it's mind numbingly frustrating. They basically sent us home happy by saying, "Hey, we know this sucks but you'll have the privilege of paying another 20 bucks to see a cage match at our next show! Isn't that awesome for you?" Thanks guys. The shows are fine when they let good wrestlers wrestle(See: Waltman/Bradley or Smith/Rhino) but they bog everything down in so much horseshit, it's absurd. They handicap themselves and their wrestlers with doofus gimmicks and poor poor poor really poor booking. They've really got to stop over complicating stuff and keep it simple. Reminds me a lot of TNA.

ACH vs. Robert Anthony, Walters vs. Sheik, Bradley vs. Waltman, and Rhino vs. Smith(until the finish) were all good matches you should track down. These guys were great and they tried to give the fans a good show, and for that I thank them. But they need to tell their bosses to get out of the way.

4 comments:

  1. Damn....will the Sheik put anybody over?

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  2. Hey, hope to see you at the next show. If you see me first, come on over!

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  3. "Pole." Not "poll."

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  4. Crap, of course it is. It's going to take me a little while to get "polls" off my mind because of the whole March Madness thing I was doing. Pretty sure I don't want to see another poll for another year.

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