Let's just do this.
BONUS MATCH NUMMER EINS
CHRIS CASTRO vs. MARVELOUS MATT KNICKS
Chris Castro is the cat who got beheaded by Jay Bradley and introduced us to Señor Chris Hall. Remember that? I do. It happened at the Vicious Circle show, which I reviewed HERE. This match was...okay. It was like three minutes and Castro did a good job trying to get the crowd pumped. We all bought into him because he was announced from Bucktown, Chicago, and no one hates on a hometown guy. The match felt a little too rehearsed at times giving it a kind of dancing feel, but they had a decent layout and the crowd made up for the rest by being loud. Castro won with a roll-up. Good for him. So far, so good.
BONUS MATCH NUMMER ZWEI
THE SUBMISSION SQUAD vs. HATE JUNKIES
Hate Junkies have a decent look, and kind of reminded me of the Nasty Boys - in the good way, mind you. Nasty Boys did some good things sometimes, you know. Their opponents were announced as the Submission Squad who...didn't look like much. And really...they weren't very submission-y. They do get bonus points for asking the crowd "Who wants to see a double axe-handle?!?!?" before delivering one from the top rope. Wasn't really feeling the rest of it. Submission Squad won with a submission because that's what they do.
LET'S START THE SHOW! or LET THE TALKING BEGIN
So to kick off the main show we get Rinaldo Piven and his Lawyer. His lawyer was this lanky dude who looked kind of stoned. He had some slacks and a tie, but he also had a wild afro and sneakers on. He looked happy to be there, and he may be one of the highlights of the night, just for how goofy he was.
Anyway, Piven was all banged up with a neck brace and an arm sling and apparently a swollen testicle as a result of getting punched in the face by Chris Nowinski at the last show. He calls Nowinski out, saying that he's a terrible Chairman of Athlete Safety. Chris comes out and delivers some genuinely funny lines about Piven running into his fist, and that if he does it again, he'll be fined $100.
|IT'S FOIL EMBOSSED!|
The participants were to be announced later. This started out okay, but the longer it went, the more bored I got, and the stipulation was kind of dumb. We just got Nowinski as a character and now he's already putting his job on the line, and really, it doesn't seem like the kind of job you "put on the line." Also this angle kind of sounds familiar. Important suits putting their position at risk through a wrestling match has kind of been run in to the ground by WWE over the last year.
Let's move on...
THUNDERKITTY vs. LUCY MENDEZ
Yay! Thunderkitty was crazy over. Lots of Thunderkitty chants through out the match, and deservedly so. She's a female wrestler that actually tries to do something different instead of forearms and bulldogs. She also looks like a female wrestler, not a failed porn-star.
I don't feel like this was as good as her last outing, but it did provide a little drama. She worked hard at trying to apply her sleeper hold, but Lucy kept finding ways to get out of it, like a jaw breaker or backing Kitty into the corner. The finish was nice with Lucy going for an O'Connor roll and Thunderkitty kicking out and snatching Mendez with the sleeper. Good times. More Thunderkitty, please.
QUARTERFINAL TAG TOURNAMENT MATCH
LOCK UP(AARON EPIC & SUGAR DUNKERTON) vs. CHRIS HALL & MATT CROSS
If you haven't heard, Sugar D and Epic are working a convict gimmick, where a Warden and an officer escort them to the ring and make them wrestle. The first half of the match was pretty fun with Dunkerton wanting to go after Chris Hall and then realizing it was a dumb idea to provoke the big man. Dunkerton usually finds a way to be one of the most entertaining guys in the match, and he does it again here. He's a great face in peril, taking a lot of the beating from Cross and Hall.
I don't feel like the two teams really jived together though. It felt a little clunky and awkward at times. I will say the booking in the last third was AWESOME. The match started to dip into chaos with every man in the ring going at it, but the ref actually kept up with who was the legal man, and refused to make counts multiple times because the wrong guy was pinning or being pinned.This worked so well, and you rarely ever see it done. Usually you just see everyone ignore the rules so they can do all their crazy spots. The crowd appreciated it and it made the rules actually mean something for once. And it's because of the rules that Dunkerton and Epic were able to get an edge on Chris Hall score the victory.
After the match the warden allowed Dunkerton to answer some interview questions, but he had to mind his p's and q's. Before Dunkerton could speak, the crowd started chanting "KILL THE WARDEN!" which got big smiles from Sugar D and Epic. Sugar's promo was really good, and further illustrated the characters that they're playing. It doesn't matter that the convict concept is kind of goofy and silly, as long as Dunkerton is running with it at 100% the crowd will buy into it, and they did last night. Without him this gimmick WOULD NOT WORK. Period. He was easily one of the best parts of the show last night.
MORE TALKING: WOMEN'S EDITION
Out came Nikki St. John, who refused to lay down for her employer Melanie Cruise last month and challenged her for the title. Nikki came out and said she felt she had to explain why she did what she at the last show. Some guy in crowd immediately said, "You don't have to." He was right, and I wish she listened to him. This stunk. It just felt like forever, and Nikki didn't say anything that we hadn't already figured. Taylor Made, the other girl in Melanie's entourage, came out and she started talking, but her mic level was so low that you couldn't here what she was saying. Finally she just hit Nikki with the mic and kicked her out of the ring.
As the crowd booed, Nikki emerged from under the ring with a kendo stick. Because no wrestling promotion worth their salt has a ring without kendo sticks(Singapore Canes, if you're a Sandman fan) hidden under them. She then beat the snot out of Taylor, to the delight of the crowd, who was starving for more ACTION.
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
JOHN SKYLER vs. MR. 450 vs. JOCEPHUS BRODY
This was a lot of fun. 450 and Skyler worked well together and they did some good stuff when they went after Brody together. It seems pretty apparent to me that they don't know what to do with Mr. 450, but the crowd loves him so they just plug him in places. The same could be said for Skyler, who's proven to be a GREAT utility guy. He's not exceptional at anything in particular, but he moves confidently and can make anyone look good. Every promotion needs wrestlers like that. This only lasted about 6 minutes, and ended when Brody caught 450 and choke slammed him on to Skyler.
After the match Brody got on the mic and said some stuff about his reign of violence. After that, D'Arcy Dixon was asking 450 why he didn't win, which of course brought out Robert Anthony, who always comes out when she's in the ring. He ripped into her and told her to take a hike. He then cut a kind of sloppy and disjointed promo about how he's going to be serious tonight and kick Jay Bradley's ass. Apparently that's happening tonight.
MORE TALKING: HARRY SMITH EDITION
The Resistance Pro champion came out with Lou D'Angeli( Lou E. Dangerously/Sign Guy Dudley). They ripped into the crowd and Billy Corgan. I gotta say, this worked incredibly well. Lou was great at getting heat and pissing people off. He said Harry was a real wrestler and no one appreciated him. He then gave the mic to Harry. Harry ripped on the crowd saying they don't accept his friend requests on Facebook or tweet him anything. He said he wanted to offer them a Wrestling Tutorial on the type of stuff his grandfather Stu taught him. The crowd randomly started chanting for Stu. Because smarky wrestling fans love it when wrestlers mention things they know, and they want everyone to know they know what the wrestler is talking about. I know Stu Hart! I'm going to pop for this heel because he mentioned something I know!
Lou and Harry then picked a little lanky guy out of the crowd named Kyle. Kyle said he was the biggest Harry Smith fan in the world. Harry shook his hands and assumed the position on his knees, allowing Kyle to start on top. Hot. Harry of course destroyed Kyle, first with an arm bar and then with a Lion Tamer. ACH then hit the ring and saved Kyle from certain death, kicking Harry Smith out of the ring.
Harry decided he needed to teach ACH a lesson in a non-title match right then and there.
ACH vs. HARRY SMITH
This went really well, with Harry dominating ACH for the most part. ACH is another guy that connects with the crowd and garners lots of sympathy. He's also really explosive and energetic, so his come backs really get the crowd on their feet. It wasn't a long match, about minutes, and Harry won, and continued to beat down ACH.
YOU'LL LOVE THIS HARRY SMITH
The one absolute best thing to come out of this show was Harry Smith Heel Champion. This was the first time that he looked like the total package wrestler. He's always been good in the ring, but this character change has filled in all the gaps that people have criticized him for in the past. He was charismatic and smarmy, and he delivered his lines with confidence. I've been pretty high on Smith based on his ring work with Rhino, but this new character makes him something special. This new Harry Smith may be one of my favorite wrestlers going right now. It's just awesome.
R-PRO WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH
MELANIE CRUISE(c) vs. ANGELINA LOVE
I don't think anyone cared. The execution in the ring was actually better than usual, but I don't think anyone believed Love was going to win and both women seemed to be kind of going through the motions. the finish was abrupt, with Cruise winning with her foot on the ropes. Just boring stuff.
After the match Melanie got on the mic, because this show needs more talking, and said something. I don't know what. At this point anytime someone touched a mic, I checked out. I'm sure she said something about being a champion and being better than other people. That's what they all say.
NOWINSKI'S JOB vs. SIX PAYDAYS FOR RINALDO PIVEN
|This sounds like a good idea right about now.|
ASHTON VUTTON vs. SERENITY
I can say that this may be the greatest Serenity match of all time. Ashton was great at being a super-dick and saying stuff like "She's going back to the kitchen!" before trying to hit a move. Serenity had a couple of moments where she looked a little lost, but nothing as bad as anything else she's ever done with the company.
THE FINISH DESERVES IT'S OWN SECTION!
Serenity made a "hot" come back and went up top to do...something. Jesse Corgan got up and said, "Serenity! High five!" She turned to him to give him a high five and he pushed her off. Vutton then rolled her up for the win.
That's right Jesse Corgan turned on Chris Nowinsiki and cost him his job. He then got in the ring and said he'd been living in Billy's shadow for too long and that he's with Rinaldo now. Piven celebrated like he won the whole Olympics.
This is so dumb. First off, I really don't care. I haven't had time to care. I just met Jesse Corgan earlier. I don't care about Nowinski losing his job because he just got the job. And if he was dumb enough to put it up against 6 months of Rinaldo Piven, he probably shouldn't have the job anyway. And who cares if Billy Corgan's brother is with Rinaldo Piven? What does that do? He can spend his free time with whoever he wants.
Do I want to see a family drama played out between non-wrestlers on a wrestling show? No. I don't like it when Vince McMahon does it. I don't like it when Hulk Hogan does it. I don't like it when Eric Bischoff does it(Garrett's still a non-wrestler character to me). DO NOT WANT.
#1 CONTENDER MATCH
JAY BRADLEY vs. MR. EGO ROBERT ANTHONY
So apparently Jay Bradley lost his #1 contender's spot when he lost to Vader. But Vader isn't the #1 contender. These two are going to wrestle for it. And as far as I know, this wasn't promoted in advance. As a matter of fact, I checked the website on Thursday to see what to expect and nothing about this was mentioned. Why? Because they were spending their time writing up the amazing Nowinski/Piven angle, I guess.
This match was pretty good. They did do some brawling out into the lobby, that took a lot of the crowd out of the match. With so many people on the second and third floors, lots of people just kind of sat on their hands waiting for the action to come back to them. When Jay and Anthony did come back, it took a little bit for people to warm up again.
There was some fun and brutal stuff, like Bradley throwing Anthony into the side of the balcony and Anthony hip tossing Bradley from the crowd, over the guard rail and onto the apron. These two are some athletic dudes, that's for sure.
Ego did a good job of selling his ribs, using them as an obstacle to keep him from capitalizing on anything, and Bradley was just a mean son of a bitch. It's too bad the show didn't have more action like this, because this was really really good. Bradley won with a sick Lariat to regain his spot as the #1 Contender.
POST MATCH MAYHEM: THE RETURN OF KYLE
Harry hit the ring and tried to jump Jay Bradley. Jay fought back and looked to have the upper-hand. Then Kyle, you know, that guy Harry beat up earlier, climbed on the top turnbuckle and delivered a flying clothesline to Jay Bradley. Harry took over from there and kicked Jay out of the ring. Afterwards Kyle got to pose with Harry Smith and Lou. Then Harry beat the shit out of Kyle to end the show.
I. Don't. Get. It.
At first I thought the earlier Wrestling Tutorial was supposed to be a sham and Harry and Kyle were just buddies. Then Harry beat up Kyle, who I thought was supposed to be a bad guy when he jumped Jay Bradley. And why end the show like this? It's confusing. If they were going to have Kyle "turn" and jump Jay, why not have Jay comeback and Lariat Kyle and tell Harry he'll see him for the title? A dumb way to end the show, if you ask me.
OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS
The angles were, by and large, stupid and at times nonsensical. I thought Resistance was supposed to be "different" and "revolutionary". This felt just like a bad RAW or an Impact. LOTS of talking, shitty angles, and short matches.
Also wrestling wasn't so hot. Every match had a lot of the same moves. Crossbody spots. Lots of forearms. Lots of jawbreakers. Several wrestlers did the head butt to the midsection from their knees as a way of trying to make a comeback. Lots of Davey Richards kicks to the chests. A good dose of superkicks. Lots of TERRIBLE knife edge chops. I think Jay Bradley was the only one who actually delivered good chops last night.
I can say that Jay Bradley and Harry Smith were stars. Both guys are beasts and and bust their ass in the ring. They also look and wrestle differently than every one else. That helps.
This company has some very talented people on the roster. Wrestlers that work hard and put in solid performances. Even Serenity, who hasn't been particularly good(she's been awful, you could say), tries really really hard and the fans kind of appreciate her for the effort. It's tough to watch a company waste their talent with stupid angles and lots of needless talking. They're giving Nikki St. John promo time to explain her actions when it didn't need explaining, but no time to explain why Jay Bradley or Vader wasn't the #1 contender.
My complaints are the same as before. Poorly thought out angles and terrible overall event flow that hampers very talented wrestlers from putting on a good show. Congratulations Resistance Pro, you're TNA.