Wednesday, August 14, 2013


Some guys were already in the ring at the start, Tatanka's intro kicked off the show. During the intros(Razor Ramon, Quebecers, and some others) Vince and Bobby were selling the Battle Royal concept and Heenan was in full hype mode. It was that kind of exasperated fascination with the battle royal concept that reminded me of his legendary call of the 1992 Royal Rumble. I think Heenan just loves Battle Royal matches. Macho Man got the final introduction and he immediately went up top and started dropping axe handles on Giant Gonzalez. Everyone else joined in on him to eliminate Gonzalez first. It was pretty neat with bad guys and good guys joining forces because no one wanted to deal with that big nakey son of a gun for very long. Vinnce cracked me up when asked "Who is that in there?" and he was referring to MVP(later to be Abe Knuckleball Schwartz). It didn't feel like a clever introduction it legit felt like he had no earthly idea who the hell that guy was. When Heenan told him, Vince was just like "Huh. How about that."

Mabel was pretty nasty, clawing Tatanka's eyes out while yelling "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF" at the
camera. It was kind of sad to see this lovable big dude, just lose his shit when faced with this dystopian last man standing type gimmick. Mo wasn't around and I wondered if maybe they had an argument before the match, making him feel cornered and alone. I'm crying for Mabel right now. Sadly Mabel was eliminated by Diesel not long after all this, which was a pretty crazy feat for the big man. It made Mr. Perfect look even better when he dumped Diesel a couple minutes later.

Bastion Booger eliminated 123 Kid. Yeah. I know.

Marty Jannetty had this funny story where he'd help Randy Savage out of tight spots and Savage wouldn't even say anything to him, he'd just go off and hit someone else. Marty would just look kind of dissappointed, as it seemed clear he was trying to make a friend. Poor guy,

Eventually it got down to the Quebecers, Rick Martel, and Adam Bomb hooking up to focus on Randy Savage and Razor Ramon. Savage and Razor looked at each other like "We gonna work together?" and the crowd was going APE SHIT. It's that kind of cheering where the camera is shaking, and it was all just because the crowd wanted to see Razor and Savage whip some ass. So damn awesome.

Savage eliminated Adam Bomb and the Quebecers w/ Martel dumped him leaving Razor alone to face the Canadians.The 3 on 1 beat down here is really great with the trio just hammering Ramon, and the crowd stayed hot as hell for all of his come backs. This feels like the moment that Razor Ramon became a super over babyface. Once he's able to eliminate The Quebecers the crowd loses their shit. The rules of the match state that the final two face each other in a match next week so we get Rick Martel and Ramon, which sounds awesome. I really can't say how over Ramon got in this match. In the post match stare down he had the crowd totally in his pocket. Great match and a great hype for next week's show. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Heavenly Bodies do all kinds of wild shit, like Pritchard slinging Del Rey into the ring for a flying clothesline,
or Pritchard flipping Del Rey over his shoulder onto one of the jabronies. Midway through Pritchard nailed a top rop spine buster because why the fuck not. These dudes are ridiculous. During the match Heenan said this Sunday we'll see the debut of a NEW TAG TEAM.... The Rock N' Roll Express. Oh yeah, that's the stuff. Anyway, Heavenly Bodies are filling the void Doink is leaving as best squash match wrestlers.

And as I say that...

The commercial may be bad, but the shot composition is really nice.
Doink threw a nice drop kick and a good belly to belly before hoping on Cory's back and rubbing his face into the mat. Vince put him over as one of the best technicians in the WWF, which makes me wonder if he would have lost his mind should Doink wrestle IRS. After a nice powerslam Doink nailed a Whoopie Cushion for the win. After the match Bigelow came out to talk some shit and pop some balloons. Staff came out to keep the two separated. Really nice bit where Bigelow picks up a red wagon and punches the hell out of it before tossing it in the ring. I thought he was going to break it in half with his fists. Man do I want to see these two wrestle.

Hella good show with a really good battle royal in front of a super hot crowd. Follow that up with a couple of my favorite acts in the Heavenly Bodies and Doink The Clown, and you get a pretty memorable Raw for me. Really can't wait to see the title match next week. WWE should really book more stories today that create bookings for the following week. It always feels like you have no idea who's wrestling that night until you get there, with PPVs being the exceptions.

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