THE STEINERS vs. CHAD MILLER & TOM BENNET
Rick has this move where he picks up a guy and rams him gut first into the top turnbuckle. One time he rammed some dude's dong and dings into it, it was sad. This time the Tom Bennet got his neck rammed into the middle turnbuckle. Poor bastard. Then Scotty gave him a belly to belly and he landed on his neck again. I don't know what these cats did, but Steiners were extra shitty to them, which is fun if you like Steiners beating up dudes.
LUDVIG BORGA vs. SONNY ROGERS
|"There's no hope in dope"|
I.R.S. vs. GARY JACKSON
You can't make this shit up. In the middle of this match Vince starts promoting their first ever tour in Israel. During a match in which a man wrestling is named Irwin R. Shyster. Anyway, nothing much going on here, other than Vince continuing to put over IRS as the #1 technical wrestler in the WWF. He doesn't do much other than a toe hold and the Write Off. Gary Jackson was pretty disappointing. His selling had no life to it. Slightly less energetic than a dead body being electrocuted.
BAM BAM BIGELOW vs. ROD BELL
Not one of Bammer's best squashes. He did bust out the enzigiri to set up the flying headbutt. Other than that it was a lot of stomping. But this was less about the match and more about a set up between Bigelow and Doink.
DOINK CLOWNS BIGELOW AND LUNA
As Bammer was making his way back up the aisle, Doink made his way down for the match and threatened them with a bucket of water. After a tease, Doink dumped confetti on Bigelow, who threatened to rip his head off. Luna continued to talk shit and Doink dumped water on her. Her reaction was freaking awesome too, like she was the Wicked Witch melting in the Wizard of Oz. Bam Bam tried to chase down Doink, which lead to some under the ring hijinks. Eventually Bigelow gets pissed at the jobber and beats him up. While he's doing that Doink, and I'm not joking here, ties a string between the guard rails and taunts Bigelow. When Bigelow gives chase he trips over the wire. Vince has a coronary from laughter.
|Luna just found out El Gigante doesn't actually wear tights.|
MARTY JANNETTY vs. STEVE MOORE
If you didn't know, Steve Moore is Al Snow, and can be added to the list of future ECW stars that were jobbers in the WWF. Al is his mugging goofy self here. He's a little soft and lanky looking, with some Roddy Piper blue tights. What really cracks me up is it looks like his torso is tan while his legs are pale. Other than Al actually looked pretty good. He didn't do a whole hell of a lot, but he showed a modicum more personality than any of the other jobbers. Jannetty didn't seem to give much of a shit. Set up his rocker dropper with a punch to the gut, which was pretty lame.
THE HEAVENLY BODIES vs. JOHN PAUL & RENO RIGGINS
Reno Riggins and Del REy start it off with some rad counter move wrestling that leads to Riggins almost scoring an upset victory off of an inside cradle. Things go down hill once he tags in John Paul who's making his TV debut with the WWF. John Paul isn't too shabby either, but spends his time getting worked over pretty good by Dr. Tom Pritchard. The crowd actually got behind him and Riggins here, and gave a pretty good pop for the hot tag. The finish was quite nice with Riggins getting caught with a super kick after ducking under a Leap Frog. Del Rey wrapped it up with a standing moonsault that was about the prettiest one I've seen him do so far. Pretty fun match over all, and worth checking out.
A little weak to return with this kind of show. It was fun seeing early Al Snow, Steiners killed some jobbers in Michigan, and the Heavenly Bodies are still pretty sweet. Really disappointed with Bigelow's squash, but I guess he was saving his energy for the shenanigans with Doink. Oh well, we've got a special RAW coming up with a Battle Royal, so let's just look forward to that.
The Undertaker, Adam Bomb, Mr. Perfect, and Men on a Mission. Sounds like a good lineup to me.